Today, I woke up and went to work and came home.
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Colossians 1:28 "We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ."
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I am reminded that I do not witness or share the Gospel as I should. I especially feel the need to witness to my family. I have not been consistent in prayer for my family. I will make that a priority again.

Weds, 4-29-09: BUMC, sofa, small group volunteering

I went to bed after 3am when I came home from work. I got up five hours later to have a meeting with someone at BUMC. I enjoyed the talk and am wondering what God has in store for my future. I met with some folks in ED to see a demo of an ultrasound machine that we may get for our ED. When I came home, the new sectional couch was delivered which fit well in our living room. Suzanne came by to visit. I then went to church to help out with the 1st-6th graders. It was interesting to revisit how kids interact and compose themselves. It was pretty easy since they watched a movie so I got to chat some with Juleeta, Ben, Ryan, and Dave. Ruth gave me a hug when I got home. Nothing feels better than that. We watched some George on DVD and sat on the new sofa.
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Philippians 4:11-13 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
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I must learn to be content whatever happens. Whether Amy delivers tomorrow twins who have long term complications or we go 37 and a half weeks for c-section to two perfect little girls, the glory goes to God. Verse 13 reminds me of Laura Wilkerson when she won the gold in the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. It was memorable because Amy and I were in first year of med school in Galveston, and Wilkerson was from and trained in The Woodlands. She was not expected to do so well. Her immediate reaction to the NBC reporter upon winning the gold was saying something she says before every dive she does: "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." http://diving.teamusa.org/athlete/athlete/500
That was a great memory because I was still young in my faith and although I honestly didn't follow women's diving, I knew the enormity of that moment. Hearing that profession of faith was encouraging as Amy and I were still new to Galvatraz and so far from home and so early into med school.

late entry for Tues, 4-28-09

I took Ruth to swim lessons, and she did great. She was good about jumping into the pool, letting me put her on her back, and going underwater. I took a nap before going into work. Lots of "flu symptoms" patients coming in.
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Philippians 3:8-9 "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."
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I want to view this world as it is: a loss. Everything on this earth is temporary. If I can remember that my faith in Christ is the only thing that matters, then the silly things that seem important in my daily life will be put in its place. I remember Dusty teaching from this chapter during the university ministry days, especially verses 2 through 5. Time has flown by.

L&D, Oral Board review for Clint, Kennedys

We had a loud thunderstorm this morning. After it was over, Ruth woke up crying. She had not done this in some time. I think she was having a bad dream possibly influenced by her having to leave Amy at L&D last night. We all went to visit Amy at the hospital. She was discharged after noon. Ruth and Amy took a nap at home while I helped Clint do some oral board cases. The Kennedys brought over lasagna and salad. Will, Nick, Ruth, and I walked down Cornelia and visited with some of their friends while Sally, Amy, Angela, and Sam hung out at home.
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Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining or arguing"
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I definitely want to be able to do this. Nothing is worse than complaining and whining. I hope I can be someone who avoids this.

late entry: Sunday overnight L&D stay

I took Ruth to church while Sally stayed home with Amy. Neil gave me a shout out in regards to relating ED triage to the story of Jesus stopping to help the bleeding woman before the dying girl in Mark 5:21. It was good lesson on not being rushed. I need to learn to be more patient. Ruth and I ate lunch with Michael. At home, we took a nap. I went to work where I later got a call from Amy that she was having a lot of contractions despite orally hydrating so the ob had her go to L&D. She got admitted for overnight. I went to visit her after work. We were fortunate that Sally is in town to stay at home with Ruth.
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Philippians 1:20 "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."
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I skipped Ephesians since our small group has been going through this book during the current series. Reading Philippians brings back great memories from when I read it during 1st year of medical school. It is filled with lots of frequently quoted passages that I recognize. This verse reminds me to never be ashamed of the Gospel and to have courage in showing my faith. Prayer for Amy and the twins to avoid complications. Praise that the hospital stay has been a good one with reassuring test results thus far.

We woke up to see that the house across from Sperry from us had a moving truck. Unfortunately, they unloaded an outdoor bench with a Longhorn symbol on it. Ruth and I went to run errands and picked up a few books and puzzle boards with numbers and letters. We came home to have lunch with Amy. Ruth and I headed back out to get Nana at the airport. Ruth fell asleep on the way out there but woke up when we got home. Suzanne had come over to chat with Amy. I watched some of the Mavs-Spurs game. Ruth, Sally, and I went to the furniture store to get more seating in the living room. We brought Arby's back for dinner. Mavs are up 3-1 now. Crabtree went #10 to San Fran. Amy and I went through and documented on excel numbers from the beginning (July 2007).
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Galatians 6:14 "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
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I owe everything to Christ. May I never forget this.
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Galatians 6:2 "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
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I hope to be a strong fellow Christian to everyone. I have appreciated the times (including now) that others have helped me out. I want to be as helpful to others when I can.

Mom left at 7am to beat the rush hour traffic. Later, Ruth and I went to return an outdoor chair at Target. We bought some milk and also stopped by Central Market for some Watermelon and lunch for Amy. Ruth fell asleep on the way home and napped at home with Amy. I went out for lunch at Ali Baba with Clint and Patricia who are now engaged. They came over afterwards to chat with Amy and see Ruth. We spent the afternoon trying to decide on new living room furniture in order to increase seating since Amy needs to occupy much of the couch with her feet up. We let Ruth run around in the backyard. Then we watched the news and had leftovers for dinner. Afterwards, we sat in the front yard and enjoyed the evening.
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Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
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I could use a few of the above qualities. I definitely want to exhibit every one of these, but I let the negative traits get in the way. My prayer is that I am filled with and constantly show love, patience, self-control and the other characteristics.

Work, Gym, Pizza, Mavs

I got up early for work. Afterwards, I went to work out with my trainer. At home, we had Pizza Hut. Ben and Nick Upatham joined us for dinner. The Mavs game ended up being a blow which is fine since Dallas won. I helped load Mom's car since she is leaving in the morning. It has been wonderful having her here. I feel so much better than last night. I am tired, but less frustrated or worried. It is nice to get some perspective and know that although there are hardships and not everything is perfect, we can take one day at a time and trust Him to get us through everything.
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Galatians 4:8-9 "Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?"
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A recurring theme is the need to concern myself only with what Jesus wants and not what others think or expect. These verses remind me that now as a believer, there is no reason to go back to being enslaved by things of this world.
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Clark, Izod, Nap, Front Yard, Family Miscommunications, Nick and Jaklin

Clark and I went to get some Einstein's to bring back to the house for breakfast. I then dropped Clark off at the Crescent so that he could meet a friend. Mom and I took Ruth to another Target today for more shopping. I dropped mom off at the Thai restaurant since Ruth fell asleep on the drive. At home, she woke up so we all watched some George and made deviled eggs. We all took a nap in the afternoon. Mom's friend came to pick her up for dinner. Amy, Ruth, and I played in the front yard and met a neighbor who said the house across from us seems to have sold. We then ate Jason's Deli that was delivered. Afterwards, we sat in the back porch while I talked to Dad on the phone. Apparently he cleared up some misunderstanding in the family. I am doing my best to make everyone happy. I am doing my best to do what is best for my family, my entire family. I am feeling tired and discouraged. We will be fine, though. We just have to fight through. I just realized I stood up my personal trainer for the 2nd time so that just adds to my frustration. Pray that I have the strength to be the best husband, dad, son, and Christian possible. Nick and Jaklin came by to visit, and they were very thoughtful to offer to help. We let them know we will need it with 2 months left.
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Galatians 3:2 "I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard?"
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I am glad we are saved by faith and grace instead of works. I know we all fall short, and I am currently feeling like I am falling very short from being able to reach my goals of keeping everything under control. I don't know if I can make this all work. Amy's mom is coming on Saturday so I think things will look brighter, but I must remember that I am not in control. If I just trust God, I will feel less discouraged.

Swim, Target, Clark

Mom came with me to Ruth's swim lesson. We brought Burger King home for lunch. After Ruth's nap, Mom and I took Ruth shopping with us at Target. We brought Olive Garden home for dinner. Ben joined us to eat and watch TV before he went went home to nap in preparation for a night psych ED shift. Mom wanted to watch American Idol so we all did that before I went to pick Clark up from his brother's house. We grabbed some snow cones from Bahama Buck's and came home to see everyone. Clark and I got to chat some before we went to bed.
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Galatians 2:6 "As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance—those men added nothing to my message."
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This passage is a good reminder that external appearance seems to be important, but we must remember to not fall for what this world considers a priority.

Amy on crutches and monitored in L&D

So our plans for putting Amy on more strict bedrest at home was strengthened by the fact that she had a fall today. With the scheduled ob/gyn appointment today, Amy went to get her haircut just in case she was placed on bedrest. On the way out, she twisted her ankle and fell on her bottom. She tried to make an Isaiah Thomas like 1988 NBA Finals game 6 performance but couldn't overcome her ankle injury. I got bought some crutches on the way to her ob appointment, but her gravid uterus makes crutch walking difficult. The sono went well, but the MFM and obstetrician both recommended that Amy go to L&D for 4 hours of monitoring. I got her checked in and went to work a little late. I got an email from Neil who had questions about ED triage so I talked to him on the phone. He was wanting to incorporate some of this into the sermon on Sunday. Meanwhile, Mom took Ruth home. Praise that Amy's KB was negative and the only intervention she got was some terbutaline to stop contractions. Her ankle xray was fine. We were confident of this before the radiograph, but we all know how it works. She was released and Nick drove her home since Suzanne had car trouble and I was doing an RME shift. Work went well. I guess Amy got her warning from the ob that she must take it easy or else she gets admitted for real bedrest. Pray for Amy and the twins to make it to full term without complications (including falls).
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Mark 5:36 "Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe."
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I skipped to Mark because Neil is planning on preaching on the story of Jesus healing a sick woman before Jairus' daughter and wanted to relate it to triage in the emergency department. Working RME is quite an eye opening. You sit with registration and the triage nurses on the front lines. You see and hear the frustration by those who wait for hours and see other patients who show up after them yet get taken back before them. They do not see the lines of ambulance stretches who are taking up resources. If they could see the critical patients that are being brought in by EMS and if they understood the triage criteria, it might make things better. Still, waits are long and there are just not enough beds or staff at times. I will be interested what take Neil takes with the ED on Sunday when he preaches on Mark 5.

late entry for Sun, 4-19-09 (Chatting with Janie)

Mom spent most of the day at the Buddhist temple. Janie went with me and Ruth to get the essentials for Amy (snow cone and Arby's roast beef sandwich). I am hoping Amy doesn't get too bored sitting at home in bed, but it's the best thing for the twins who are 28wks and 1 day into the gestation. We are praying for at least 34 weeks but the more, the better. The drive with Janie was nice because I learned some Spanish, and we had a good chat about various other things. It is hard to believe she has been working with our family since 1985. It has been nice having her visit with Mom this weekend. Ruth was very polite as usual saying please and thank you for bites of shaved ice. Amy taught her to say "no thank you," and she seemed to catch on. Before I went to work, I said good-bye to Janie. I wonder when/if I will seen her again.
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Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
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This is something I always realize too late. My trying to win the approval of others often supercedes considering what Jesus wants. Trying to please others can become a major problem, and I feel it has more often than not lead to bad decisions in my life. No matter the life stage from childhood, adolescence, young adult, to now, I still worry too much about what people think. My prayer is that I do what Jesus wants from me and not what I think other people will think of me.
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Reading from my original "blog" seven years ago (http://www.geocities.com/andykahn/trophic_number_15.html), it is interesting to see a reference to one of the earlier Passion CDs. I believe the Revelation 5 passage I quoted that day is in relation to "We Fall Down" by Chris Tomlin. As I drove home from work tonight, I was listening to a commercial on KLTY for a festival on May 2nd that had Chris Tomlin and Kirk Cameron (interesting that the 4/21/02 entry reference LaHaye and Jenkins since Cameron played the lead role in the movie version of their Left Behind book... I liked his performance in Fireproof better btw). Tomlin continues to put out a large number of worship songs played by most churches I have been to since that time. Interesting to see the continuity of leaders in the Christian world.

late entry for Sat, 4-18-09 (a day with Ben, Mom, Janie)

I had not seen Janie in awhile so it was nice to have her visit us with Mom. We had breakfast at IHOP and then picked Ben up. We got some baby slings at a store in Richardson and stopped at the Hong Kong Market in Garland for Mom. We had a late lunch at La Duni on McKinney Ave. The girls had their usual afternoon nap while Ben took Mom to the Thai temple. We all went to dinner at Thai Thai on lower Greenville. Amy, Ruth, and Janie went home. Ben and I stayed with Mom at the restaurant and also snuck into the kitchen to watch the end of the Mavs win over the Spurs in game one of round one of the playoffs. I got to chat with Dr. Upatham about various Ob/Gyn topics. I dropped Ben off and went to bed. It was great to hang out with Ben all day. Unfortunately, Amy had more contractions tonight so no more going out.
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2 Corinthians 13:11 "Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you."
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Aim for perfection. That is a good piece of advice. I feel sometimes we become complacent and hope for the best but only shoot for a decent or above average goal. Paul asks us to do more. I will try my best to not only meet minimum standards but do what is best.
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Prayer for the twins and no more contractions.

late entry for Fri, 4-17-09 (sleep, Bubba's chicken, work)

I slept after my night shift and woke up to some bad news from the mail. The good news is I did not do anything wrong. The bad news is that I got the letter and more information by email. We will pray all goes well. Amy, Ruth, and I delivered Bubba's to the Collier's house. I went to work and came home to eat more chicken. Mom and Janie are actually staying with us. I am going to get some sleep so that I can hang out with them tomorrow.
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2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
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I feel weak today. Tired from work, stress from Amy's recent contractions, and bad news in the mail all make me dependent on His power. I will try to learn to delight in weakness as Paul mentions. I could learn a lot from his statement about responding to insults, hardships, and difficulties. Thank You, Lord, for being there for me. I need you now.

late entry for Thurs, 4-16-09 (sleep, sleep, contractions, work)

In anticipation for a night shift, I slept all day. We ate at IHOP. Afterwards, Amy had contractions so I took Ruth into the Tom Thumb to get some essentials since we will put Amy on our modified bedrest. Work was busy.
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2 Corinthians 11:27 "I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?"
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Paul talks about his sufferings. Sounds a lot like residency. I am glad to be done with residency but the stress of real world sets in today. Lots of concern with Amy's contractions since we are only 27 weeks. Pray for Amy's health and no complications for the twins.

IHOP, snow cone, Ob, driving around, Kennedys, small group

We went to IHOP for breakfast. Ruth ate eggs, grape, and watermelon pretty well. We stopped by the gym so that I could let my trainer know I would be missing today's session since we just scheduled an Ob appointment since Amy had increased contractions yesterday. We stopped by George's little shaved ice store but he wasn't there. We ate at KFC for lunch and then drove to Bahama Buck's out by Firewheel since we had an hour until the appointment. The Ob said everything seemed okay. Ruth fell asleep on the way home so we decided to drive around a bit in order to let her sleep and so that we could talk some more. Nick rode by on his bicycle. We ended up bringing Bubba's chicken to the Kennedys house. Nick rode with us to church for small group. Sue was kind enough to share her experience with Amy and hopefully convinced Amy that she must take it easy from here on out.
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2 Corinthians 10:3-4 "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds."
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It is a constant reminder to myself that we are temporarily. I get so wrapped up in wanting to enjoy and succeed in this world that I forget about what really matters. The rules change when your goals change. His promise of eternal life is so much more important than the things on Earth yet I focus solely on this short lived life. I need to refocus on eternity and Him.
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Major prayers for Amy's pregnancy with the twins: that she would be able to let go and allow me and others to help her so that she does not go into preterm labor. I pray also for the twins to be healthy and to hang out in the womb for several more weeks so that they do not have any long term complications.

Scott, swim lessons, and work

I woke up to meet Scott Alexander at Starbucks to get his perspective on EmCare as I decide on long term goals. I came home to pick up Ruth for swim lessons. I am looking forward to taking her swimming when there isn't a pool full of kids and moms. I came home and napped before going to work instead of Amy since she had some contractions yesterday and last night. I had not done an RME shift in awhile so it was a nice change of pace. My concern now is that I am eating too much fast food. I had McDonalds on the way to work and Popeyes on the way home. I had Eric bring me McDonalds on Saturday and Sunday night when he came into work. Yes, that's three meals from the golden arches this week so I have reached my limit for the month.
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2 Corinthians 9:6 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously."
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Funny how "What you reap is what you sow" makes me think of a line from Rage Against the Machine when I read this passage. I have come a long way. From stressing about my six weeks grades in fourth grade (where I learned to compute the average of my grades in order know what I needed to make on the final test) until college, working hard in pre-med classes, MCAT, med school, USMLE, and written/oral boards, I now have less concrete goals to reach. Being structured like this for the majority of my life, I had found it hard to decide what to sow from a worldly perspective. Now I am looking at more opportunities for career advancement again as the process never seems to stop. From a Christian perspective, I have lots to sow. I need to get more involved with church and small group. I will pray for God to lay on my heart a desire to give more to the church and to become more active.
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I was reminiscing at my original "blog" at 1:09pm on Thurs, 1/17/02 at http://www.geocities.com/andykahn/trophic_number_1.html and found this quote: "My family is currently only comprised of me and Amy, but in the not too distant future, I will be a father, and the family will be larger. Time will fly by once again, and I will remember how I was once just a med student." The family is about to be much larger and time has flown by. I am sure time will continue to fly by as our children are older. It is exciting to see where we are now and where we will be in the future.

Shulls, Nick, Will, Ben, Nick, Jaklin

I woke up feeling good that three evening shifts had gone by. We all hung out at home until Amy went to work an RME shift. Ruth and I went to visit with the Shulls across the street since they were in their yard having returned from a trip. Ruth and I then met Will and Nick at the new Dick's Sporting Goods. I bought those cool sunflower seed containers in the shape of a wooden bat. We got snow cones with them, and Ruth and I headed to Lone Star Baby to pick up car seats and strollers for the twins. We met up with Ar Ben for chips and guac. Ruth does so well with Ben now. I remember not too long ago when Ben would be a little disappointed when she didn't completely warm up to him. She is so expressive and loving now. It is a fun time. Ruth and I then picked up Nick and Jaklin to go meet Nick's parents for dinner in Rockwall. It is interesting the similarities in the dynamics between his parents and him/Jaklin. There are not a lot of other Thai-Caucasian couples to compare to but add in the cultural gap of relating to parents from Thailand and I feel (hope) that Ruth should have it a lot easier. What is notable from dinner is that Ruth ate a ton of food. More than I can ever remember. She ate fries (I know, bad Father), some chicken, a lot of broccoli (as she would say "Duke" in remembering that Dwight eats broccoli), and lots of grapes. She is sleeping soundly and has not vomited, yet.
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2 Corinthians 8:9 "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich."
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I feel God has definitely overfilled our cup. We are blessed in various ways and often I feel guilty about it. With Christ's example of becoming poor, I would like to honor Him by doing my part to sacrifice for others also. I hope that I can show my love to Him by the way I show love to others.

late entry for Sun, 4-12-09

I missed Easter service since I slept in from work. We went to lunch at Cibus in the Northpark Mall. I drove to work as Amy and Ruth went to the Brookshires for an Easter get together. Work went well.
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2 Corinthians 7:1 "Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."
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I find hope when I read about "these promises" as a reminder of what He has in store for us. I believe that I am doing better in regards to purifying my life from contaminants. I obviously have a long ways to go, but I feel that more of my life is being devoted to what Jesus wants. I could still cut out things here and there that have no positive value in my life or walk. This blog has been dry for the last few days, but with a string of evening/night shifts, I find little energy left to discuss, especially when I cannot discuss the majority of the days events if it is a possible HIPAA violation. I could speak in hypotheticals, but I will just take no chances and not air my experiences from work. The accountability to blog on here helps me to do what I have been missing which is reading Scripture. I can still try to make more time for Him in between shifts, but praise that this stretch is done and prayer that I get through the next stretches.

late entry for Sat, 4-11-09

After waking up from sleeping in from an evening shift, I met Amy and Ruth at Angela's hospital room. We ate lunch with Angela's parents and the Catings. We got some snow cones for the Kennedys, and I went to work.
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2 Corinthians 6
I didn't find anything I wanted to comment on.

late entry for Friday, 4-10-09

We got a call from the Kennedys that Angela gave birth to a baby boy. We went to visit them at the hospital. Nick and I went out to get lunch for everyone at Whole Foods and of course, snow cones. I went to work at 4pm. It was a busy day with lots of CVAs.
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2 Corinthians 5: 1 "Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands."
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I want to live with the understanding that we are here temporarily and our permanent home with God is to come. It is such a challenge to live like I truly believe this.
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2 Corinthians 5: 7 "We live by faith, not by sight."
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It is also a challenge for me to live solely by faith and not by my eyes. My prayer is that I am reminded of this and that I rely totally on God.

Hanging Out with the Family

I went to early morning b-ball. For breakfast, we all ate at IHOP and then did some shopping at Target. We went by Lone Star Baby to order a twin stroller and car seats. Of course, we stopped by Amy's new favorite convenience store which houses a snow cone store. At home, Ruth and I hung out and took a nap while Amy got a pedicure with Angela who has a c-section scheduled tomorrow. We all cleaned up around the house and watched the news about the recent carjackings in our part of town which is concerning. We had dinner at Fuddrucker's and bought some books for Ruth and us (baby naming books) at Borders. It was a fun day of hanging out with Amy and Ruth. I have been off awhile now (since before TCEP as a result of the shift switches) so it is time I get back into the swing of things tomorrow.
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2 Corinthians 4:7-9 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
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These verses are found in a couple of songs that I know of. Obviously the first one listed is from Jars of Clay. I believe it is on the secret track at the end of their self-titled debut album. The next two passages are in the praise song Trading My Sorrows. These lines are a reminder that we may have troubles but all is not lost and His power will overcome in the end.
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2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
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These are more lines of hope in knowing that things may be difficult now. However, what we see is not permanent and what we know and believe will be what is important in the long run.

Snow Cones and More Snow Cones

We always have our staff meeting on the second Wednesday of the month. It was weird going to sleep before Amy got home last night and then leaving early this morning for staff meeting before she got up. After the meeting, I chatted with Steve for awhile and as usual, learned a lot from him. I stopped to get shaved ice for Amy since she was craving it badly. We got to chat and hang out before I headed off to the gym. When I got back, I helped Ruth and Amy finish decorating the nursery/Ruth's room with more animal wall decorations and glow in the dark stars for the ceiling. We went to La Duni to meet up with the Kennedys to have a last dinner before our 2nd set of children were born. It is such a nice patio where we can see our kids for literally a hundred feet with the large outdoor courtyard. From there we went to small group at church and had a great discussion on the end of Ephesians 5 including husbands loving their wives and interestingly enough, sex (both covered between Ephesians 5:25-31). We also talked about honoring our parents by transitioning into Ephesians 6. After small group, we headed to get shaved ice again. I am going to head to bed now in preparation for early morning b-ball and hope that I have not become insulin resistant.
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2 Corinthians 3:12 "Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold."
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I feel I need to be more bold. In my new job, in my current job, in my parenting, and in basketball even ("take it to the hole!" as Amy says). With the promise we have in Him, we have confidence and hope. I want to use this knowledge to help me do what is right without fear of the consequences of this world. I will pray for boldness in my walk, witness, and daily interactions with others.

Another Dad Ruth Day

I woke up early for b-ball and came home to take a nap before we took Ruth to swim lessons. We tried to get her to nap but instead we went to lunch at Lover's Pizza. Amy went to work, and we met Ben at Chick Fil A where he had lunch. Ben hit a few balls at Top Golf while we watched. We then went to look at a few houses Ben was considering renting with friends. Ruth and I then went to pick up Nick and Will for Will's soccer game. We ate dinner at the Kennedys' house. We came home, and Ruth had a bath. It was another father-daughter day. I miss Amy when she is at work a lot, but I appreciate the opportunity to be with Ruthie one on one.
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2 Corinthians 2:14 "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him."
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I definitely need to witness more. This passage reminds me of this weakness and the need to reach out to those who need Christ. I especially pray for my parents and brothers.

Back in Dallas

I went to the gym and then we all had lunch with Ben at P.D. Johnson's. We then went to get some snow cones while Ruth slept on the drive up there. We picked up Eliot and went to the park. I played tennis with Ben while Amy, Ruth, and Eliot were at the playground. After a stop by our house, we went to eat dinner at the Purple Cow. We stopped by to pick up some dried fruit snacks from Fernando. Ruth got to see Sebi and Rene. At home, Dave came by to watch the Final Four championship game, but UNC ran away from MSU early so it was not a very exciting game. As "One Shining Moment" plays, I love yearly traditions and have enjoyed March Madness this year.
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2 Corinthians 1:21-22 "Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."
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It makes you feel special when someone chooses you. The fact that He chose me is hard to fathom sometimes. I would like to appreciate this, but I usually take it for granted. My prayer is to remember all He has done for me and focus on Him daily.

late entry for Sun, 4-5-09

We got up and went to the final lecture of TCEP which covered the 2009 LLSA exam. We drove home and stopped in Austin to eat lunch at Z Tejas with Uncle Ben (Andrews) and Ar D.J. We had dinner with Suzanne at the new Whole Foods once we got back into Dallas.
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1 Corinthians 16: 13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. "
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As Paul closes 1 Corinthians, he gives some key instructions. I figure I should keep these words in mind daily.

late entry for Sat, 4-4-09

Yesterday, we woke up and met the Benitez-Velez family at Sea World. Ruth and their twins enjoyed the sea animals and shows. It eventually got hot, and we called it a day by mid afternoon. We went back to the hotel. Ruth napped, Amy finished the May schedule, and I went to help Dave Spear with the ultrasound course. I talked to a guy from San Antonio and another from the Panhandle who was a little burned out since he owned a contract and had picked up a lot of shifts whenever the group was short. I was thankful that Amy and I had decided on a limited amount of shifts. After the ultrasound course, Amy and I met Nick Zenarosa in the hotel bar. Many other doctors from various places joined in for conversation. We all went to Iron Cactus on the riverwalk for dinner. I especially enjoyed chatting with Nick and Fernando on the walk back to the Crown Plaza. I have come to realize that some of the most important learning and networking come not from lectures or workshops, but from casual conversation and exchange of information outside the meeting itself. It has been interesting that although we live in DFW with Sam, Fern, Larissa, Nick, Fowler, and various other EPs, we have the most contact when we leave our home and meet in another city.
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1 Corinthians 15:31 "I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord."
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I feel like I die every few months or so instead of Paul's daily pattern. The rollercoaster begins when I am rededicated and excited to be closer to Christ. Then the routine gets old, and I slip further and further from Him. The goal is to die to myself and reconnect more frequently. I have been doing this blog for that purpose. I still need to improve upon my Scripture reading. I would also like to be more consistent with prayer.

late entry for Fri, 4-3-09

We left the Patlovanys and got to the Crown Plaza for TCEP. It was great hearing about what is going on from the ACEP president. We ran into familiar faces from residency and past meetings. I felt I learned a good amount and hopefully it helps me in my daily practice. We had dinner with Sam, Ira, and Jeff at The County Line on the riverwalk. There were some great news and interesting stories.
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1 Corinthians 14:10 "Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning. If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me. So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church."
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I am not sure if this is what God is saying to me, but this passage reminds me of how much I want to learn and teach Spanish to Ruth. Many patients do not speak English, and I want to be able to communicate well without an interpreter. I have enjoyed speaking Thai to family and friends. Sign language has been useful for our family especially when Ruth was preverbal. I would hope that learning more languages would help in witnessing and connecting with others. It has been great learning and speaking to emergency physicians from across this great state. I have learned a lot. We speak the same language in our experiences in the ED no matter what city we live in. We have common battles with other departments and struggle with similar issues. We are trying to build up our specialty from the local to national level through polictics and advocacy. Hopefully, I can improve my Spanish so that I can use it to help build up the church.

late entry for Thurs, 4-2-09

I woke up early to play basketball. Afterwards, we headed to meet D.J. for lunch in Austin. Then we arrived in San Antonio to see the Patlovanys. Ruth and Nathan had fun playing. I keep seeing the need for kids to learn how to share since they usually get upset when they see someone else playing with their toys. Even Ruth was a little testy seeing Nathan play with his own toys that she wants to have. Still, our kids did great. We took them for a wagon ride around the neighborhood and had dinner at a place with a nice patio and playground. The night ended with Matt and I chatting about our ED practices. It was great to share our experiences and learn about what we were doing in our respective areas.
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1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."
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Watching Nathan and Ruth interact is fascinating. They are little kids. Sometimes I see faults in them that are still present in adults like me. I still have not put away my childish ways. I am selfish, jealous, and needy. I want to be totally dependent on God so that I do not care so much about the less important things.

Good ole Wednesday

I woke up and went to the gym for a work out and came home to a house full of Ruth's and Amy's friends from small group. It is nice for Ruth to learn how to share since she never has to do so currently without siblings. I went and played some b-ball at noon. After naps, we decided to take Ruth out for a treat. We got fries and shaved ice which was pretty good. We got to church early and played on the playground with Eliot and Millie. Small group was very good. We discussed some plans for the summer and had a great discussion of the second portion of Ephesians 5. I recall using one verse in Matt Taylor's rehearsal dinner when I was the best man. I didn't fully understand its meaning back then and tonight I got a better grasp after our discussion.
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Ephesians 5:22-28 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
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So I was referencing the first few lines jokingly when I stood up and told Elisha and the women in the room that night about the submitting to your husbands part, but now I better understand what Paul was saying. As Nick mentioned, the point is that as husbands, we sacrifice for our wives in our role as leaders. It is a great honor. I feel pressure to execute the responsibilities laid out before me and a Christian husband, but I know God will help me.
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1 Corinthians 12:21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"
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This is an interesting verse that speaks to how everyone in the church body plays a part in His kingdom. There are those that serve by being missionaries or working at the church. I many times feel less important to God's plan because I am not as involved as I would like to be. Perhaps in the future, the aforementioned roles may be something I am involved in. For now, I will do everything I can to serve Christ in the situations he places me in.