Transition

Eighteen days ago, our world traveling family landed in Africa with no idea what our new life was going to look like. We had quickly decided to leave over a month earlier than originally planned so things were a blur which gave us no time to be sad about leaving home. The day after we arrived, our Congolese son was brought to us by his foster mom and our adoption agency attorney. The first few weeks were a difficult adjustment period. We were sad about leaving our family and friends but excited to be with Daniel. He was also getting used to us. There were times he was frustrated with us when he didn't get his way. He would have temper tantrums and sometimes it would take an extremely long time to get him to nap or to sleep. As the days went by, he seemed to trust us more and realize how much we really loved him. We began getting a routine down, and he caught on to what bath time and going to bed would look like each day. There were some days or nights where homesickness kicked in. However, this was overcome by remembering how we had been blessed by so many people back in Dallas and how people were now showing great generosity to us here in Kinshasa. The Tajdin family has really taken great care of us in a similar way to how we had tried to help refugees in Vickery Meadows in Dallas. I believe God is teaching us what it feels like to be dependent on others, but especially dependent on Him. Without a car, without fluency in French, and without local knowledge of the city, our transition here has been much smoother than had we not met Rahim and Kamila. They are devout Ismailis (Islam) but despite our different beliefs, I realize we have so much in common! We talk about raising kids, health care delivery, and life in general. We both enjoy trying out various restaurants and traveling. Amy and I are thankful for them doing so many things that have made our adjustment period here in Congo a very pleasant one. We are most thankful for their friendship!

We have also been grateful to the American missionaries and other adoptive families who have also provided advice, given us rides and dinners (thank you Sandy Francis, the Hochstetlers, Pastor Grings, the Wards), and spent their time hanging out with us. It has been so fun to hear about how they came to live in Kinshasa. Some grew up in the jungles of the Congo and are 3rd generation missionaries here. It is impressive to hear them speak Lingala fluently. Another is an adoptive family here since January from a smaller town in Tennessee. The Lloyds have helped us prepare for life here through their blog and sharing of information. We have attended two different churches thus far. The one near where we are living is full of believers from all over the world, and the sermons are in English. Another church is in a poorer area. The pastor preaches in Lingala, and the people there were all very interested to meet us since we were visitors from a foreign land. The Shannon family (who originally connected us to the Tajdin family) have kindly invited us to go swimming at TASOK (The American School of Kinshasa) a few times and let us take family photos on the beautiful, jungle like campus in which their home is located. From my prior blog post, I shared photos of the nurses, doctors, and staff at the Baylor Garland ER sharing our "Waiting for you" and "Bring Daniel Home" signs during my last shift. It was touching and fitting that when I video chatted over FaceTime with my Friday morning men's bible study, they were sharing their own "waiting for you" sign. How fitting! I have enjoyed volunteering at Centre Médical Diamant by providing feedback on how we do things differently in the United States, consulting on emergency patients, and teaching emergency medicine skills like bedside ultrasound. I have encountered great people, learned a lot about malaria, and improved my French from the clinic interactions. I am most pleased to see our family grow closer together. We still have lots to learn but it warms my heart to see Daniel playing with his sisters and growing closer to Amy. My hope and prayer is that he grows up learning how much Jesus loves him through our family. As we settle in, things are getting easier. We no longer have to fit 5 or 6 people in one bed as shown on the last blog post. We were blessed to be able to use the whole apartment once the Tajdin family moved to a newer place. In addition to the REI air mattresses we brought, we have gone to local stores to buy a pack and play for Daniel (costs 2-3 times as much as its usual price in the U.S.) and an inflatable boat for Betty to sleep in. This ended up being a great deal because she likes to sleep in a boat and it was a third of the price of a pack and play (and much cheaper than buying another bed).

Moving to Africa: Unexpected Joy

I woke up too early my first two nights in Africa due to jet lag and excitement. You would think an emergency physician who works varying shifts in the ER would be immune from time changes and could be more grounded emotionally, but the unfamiliar and unknown can affect anybody regardless of background or experience. During my 7 day visit to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) in September of 2014, I also had trouble sleeping at night. I attributed that to wanting to video chat with Amy and our girls because of missing them and wanting to fill them in on my time with our son, Daniel. This makes me realize that I am so blessed! I am here with Amy and the girls now. Daniel came to us during our first full day so I woke up on the second night to Amy and our 4 kids sleeping on the bed. (It's a Jenga puzzle but they have found a way to all fit and have slept well. I have enjoyed my REI travel mattress on the ground even if there is a foot dangling in front of my face at times.)

This reminds me of our interesting sleeping arrangement at Vickery when the twins were 1 year old and Ruth was 3 years old: scroll to the very bottom of this link (http://kahnsinvickery.blogspot.com) to see how we fit 3 beds perfectly in our apartment bedroom. Catching up from the last blog post, we gave our jobs notice that May would be our last month and asked them to hire someone to replace us. We made contacts with adoptive families already living in DRC and also connected with their friends which led us to meeting a wonderful couple from Canada who run a medical facility on the busiest street of this Congolese capital city of Kinshasa. They arranged transport from the airport, provided us a place to stay, and have helped me get a temporary medical license so that I can volunteer at their clinic. I have the opportunity to work there if we are unable to bring Daniel home as quickly as we would like. For reasons I will expand upon at another time, Amy and I changed our one way plane tickets to leave a month earlier so we quickly packed and arranged for a trip of unknown duration which can be difficult to plan for. (We packed the essentials: a Home Depot plastic bin inside a suitcase, water filter for brushing our teeth since it is advisable to avoid putting tap water in our mouths, and Amy's coffee maker/pods:

We realize that we have the best colleagues in the world who are supportive of our adoption process. They have picked up our remaining shifts in our ER on short notice, and we cannot thank them enough for not only agreeing to cover us but they have also all expressed well wishes and prayers for our journey.

With the decision to quickly leave our home country, several friends immediately asked what they could do to help. Several came to help us pack, others did errands for us, and so many offered help that we had nothing else left for them to do except pray for us. It feels so amazing to receive such an outpouring of support. I believe God has blessed us with these people to make us realize what life is really about. It is not about doing everything for ourselves. It is not about just focusing on retirement, college for the kids, or our belongings (home, cars, etc.). These things have value so I am not saying we should ignore them. I do believe we have to put things in perspective. If we believe that life on Earth is all we have, then what is the point? We gain possessions and make friends, and then it all turns to dust eventually. However, if we believe in eternity with our God and Savior, then life is really about something much greater: Loving God and loving the people He loves. All of these people (from strangers to acquaintances to close friends) eagerly sacrificed for us and offered their help. They reminded me that our God is glorified when we attempt to take risks for Him. As we become desperately dependent in these new situations, we find unexpected joy from seeing people step up to make a difference. Following Jesus is why we have adopted and why we have altered our lives to respond to the challenges in our adoption process. I am excited to continue on to find more unexpected joy from following Him. If it brings about more opportunities to see the love of Christ, I know this is what I want to commit my life to. Yes, it is great to be a family of 6 with Daniel. I'll post more about that next time and will try to post more often from Congo.