Transition

Eighteen days ago, our world traveling family landed in Africa with no idea what our new life was going to look like. We had quickly decided to leave over a month earlier than originally planned so things were a blur which gave us no time to be sad about leaving home. The day after we arrived, our Congolese son was brought to us by his foster mom and our adoption agency attorney. The first few weeks were a difficult adjustment period. We were sad about leaving our family and friends but excited to be with Daniel. He was also getting used to us. There were times he was frustrated with us when he didn't get his way. He would have temper tantrums and sometimes it would take an extremely long time to get him to nap or to sleep. As the days went by, he seemed to trust us more and realize how much we really loved him. We began getting a routine down, and he caught on to what bath time and going to bed would look like each day. There were some days or nights where homesickness kicked in. However, this was overcome by remembering how we had been blessed by so many people back in Dallas and how people were now showing great generosity to us here in Kinshasa. The Tajdin family has really taken great care of us in a similar way to how we had tried to help refugees in Vickery Meadows in Dallas. I believe God is teaching us what it feels like to be dependent on others, but especially dependent on Him. Without a car, without fluency in French, and without local knowledge of the city, our transition here has been much smoother than had we not met Rahim and Kamila. They are devout Ismailis (Islam) but despite our different beliefs, I realize we have so much in common! We talk about raising kids, health care delivery, and life in general. We both enjoy trying out various restaurants and traveling. Amy and I are thankful for them doing so many things that have made our adjustment period here in Congo a very pleasant one. We are most thankful for their friendship!

We have also been grateful to the American missionaries and other adoptive families who have also provided advice, given us rides and dinners (thank you Sandy Francis, the Hochstetlers, Pastor Grings, the Wards), and spent their time hanging out with us. It has been so fun to hear about how they came to live in Kinshasa. Some grew up in the jungles of the Congo and are 3rd generation missionaries here. It is impressive to hear them speak Lingala fluently. Another is an adoptive family here since January from a smaller town in Tennessee. The Lloyds have helped us prepare for life here through their blog and sharing of information. We have attended two different churches thus far. The one near where we are living is full of believers from all over the world, and the sermons are in English. Another church is in a poorer area. The pastor preaches in Lingala, and the people there were all very interested to meet us since we were visitors from a foreign land. The Shannon family (who originally connected us to the Tajdin family) have kindly invited us to go swimming at TASOK (The American School of Kinshasa) a few times and let us take family photos on the beautiful, jungle like campus in which their home is located. From my prior blog post, I shared photos of the nurses, doctors, and staff at the Baylor Garland ER sharing our "Waiting for you" and "Bring Daniel Home" signs during my last shift. It was touching and fitting that when I video chatted over FaceTime with my Friday morning men's bible study, they were sharing their own "waiting for you" sign. How fitting! I have enjoyed volunteering at Centre Médical Diamant by providing feedback on how we do things differently in the United States, consulting on emergency patients, and teaching emergency medicine skills like bedside ultrasound. I have encountered great people, learned a lot about malaria, and improved my French from the clinic interactions. I am most pleased to see our family grow closer together. We still have lots to learn but it warms my heart to see Daniel playing with his sisters and growing closer to Amy. My hope and prayer is that he grows up learning how much Jesus loves him through our family. As we settle in, things are getting easier. We no longer have to fit 5 or 6 people in one bed as shown on the last blog post. We were blessed to be able to use the whole apartment once the Tajdin family moved to a newer place. In addition to the REI air mattresses we brought, we have gone to local stores to buy a pack and play for Daniel (costs 2-3 times as much as its usual price in the U.S.) and an inflatable boat for Betty to sleep in. This ended up being a great deal because she likes to sleep in a boat and it was a third of the price of a pack and play (and much cheaper than buying another bed).

Moving to Africa: Unexpected Joy

I woke up too early my first two nights in Africa due to jet lag and excitement. You would think an emergency physician who works varying shifts in the ER would be immune from time changes and could be more grounded emotionally, but the unfamiliar and unknown can affect anybody regardless of background or experience. During my 7 day visit to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) in September of 2014, I also had trouble sleeping at night. I attributed that to wanting to video chat with Amy and our girls because of missing them and wanting to fill them in on my time with our son, Daniel. This makes me realize that I am so blessed! I am here with Amy and the girls now. Daniel came to us during our first full day so I woke up on the second night to Amy and our 4 kids sleeping on the bed. (It's a Jenga puzzle but they have found a way to all fit and have slept well. I have enjoyed my REI travel mattress on the ground even if there is a foot dangling in front of my face at times.)

This reminds me of our interesting sleeping arrangement at Vickery when the twins were 1 year old and Ruth was 3 years old: scroll to the very bottom of this link (http://kahnsinvickery.blogspot.com) to see how we fit 3 beds perfectly in our apartment bedroom. Catching up from the last blog post, we gave our jobs notice that May would be our last month and asked them to hire someone to replace us. We made contacts with adoptive families already living in DRC and also connected with their friends which led us to meeting a wonderful couple from Canada who run a medical facility on the busiest street of this Congolese capital city of Kinshasa. They arranged transport from the airport, provided us a place to stay, and have helped me get a temporary medical license so that I can volunteer at their clinic. I have the opportunity to work there if we are unable to bring Daniel home as quickly as we would like. For reasons I will expand upon at another time, Amy and I changed our one way plane tickets to leave a month earlier so we quickly packed and arranged for a trip of unknown duration which can be difficult to plan for. (We packed the essentials: a Home Depot plastic bin inside a suitcase, water filter for brushing our teeth since it is advisable to avoid putting tap water in our mouths, and Amy's coffee maker/pods:

We realize that we have the best colleagues in the world who are supportive of our adoption process. They have picked up our remaining shifts in our ER on short notice, and we cannot thank them enough for not only agreeing to cover us but they have also all expressed well wishes and prayers for our journey.

With the decision to quickly leave our home country, several friends immediately asked what they could do to help. Several came to help us pack, others did errands for us, and so many offered help that we had nothing else left for them to do except pray for us. It feels so amazing to receive such an outpouring of support. I believe God has blessed us with these people to make us realize what life is really about. It is not about doing everything for ourselves. It is not about just focusing on retirement, college for the kids, or our belongings (home, cars, etc.). These things have value so I am not saying we should ignore them. I do believe we have to put things in perspective. If we believe that life on Earth is all we have, then what is the point? We gain possessions and make friends, and then it all turns to dust eventually. However, if we believe in eternity with our God and Savior, then life is really about something much greater: Loving God and loving the people He loves. All of these people (from strangers to acquaintances to close friends) eagerly sacrificed for us and offered their help. They reminded me that our God is glorified when we attempt to take risks for Him. As we become desperately dependent in these new situations, we find unexpected joy from seeing people step up to make a difference. Following Jesus is why we have adopted and why we have altered our lives to respond to the challenges in our adoption process. I am excited to continue on to find more unexpected joy from following Him. If it brings about more opportunities to see the love of Christ, I know this is what I want to commit my life to. Yes, it is great to be a family of 6 with Daniel. I'll post more about that next time and will try to post more often from Congo.

This Adoption Has Cost Us Our Jobs, Home, and Life... But We Press On!

From where I left off from last August's blog post, I had just traveled around the world with my family. Little did I know I would be flying back across the Atlantic Ocean with another adoptive parent one month later so that we could each meet our adopted children in person for the first time in September. That week in Africa changed everything. Amy and I had learned a trip to file paperwork with the U.S. Embassy in Africa would be very helpful. I was blessed to have another adoptive dad willing to go with me. The adoption process had already been stuck in a suspension which kept adopted children from being able to leave their country for the past 12 months. I had felt a disconnect from my son as we did not have much progress in the adoption process. Our family had been distracted from adoption by God's call to help with the Wafodi family the previous 10 months. The miraculous events which allowed the Wafodis to be reunited and cared for by families from our church would quickly be a forgotten memory. It spared Amy and I from our commitment of being legal guardians of 4 more children. (It is sad how quick I am to forget what great things God has done!) However, this opportunity to meet my son in September of 2014 changed everything. He was no longer someone in official documents or a photograph from an email attachment. He was my son who I spent time with 24 hours a day for a whole week in my hotel room in a continent I had never been to. I did not expect to cry when I had to give him back before I left. I was on FaceTime with Amy when his foster mom came to pick him up. I told our foster mom that we appreciated her and that we would be praying for my son every night. That. Is. When. I. Lost. It. I didn't know when I would see him again. In November, Amy and I made a rare trip without kids to New York to spend time with my youngest brother, D.J. and his girlfriend. We had a great time and were able to see them again when they came to Dallas for Christmas to be with me, Amy, my parents, Ben, and Preaw. Earlier in December, our family enjoyed the snow in Park City, Utah, while spending time with Amy's parents, brother, and sister-in-law. On New Year's Eve, Amy asked me if our family could move to Africa to be with our adopted son. We had been the legal parents who were financially responsible for him for over a year now. The problem was his country wouldn't let him leave. We had waited long enough. We decided we should move to be with him so that he could know his family and that we could all be together. That was not an easy decision at first, but then God began to make it clear that He wanted us to change our lives. We were willing to give up our homes, our way of life, our comfort, and our country to do what God wanted. We wanted what God wanted.

The hardest part was realizing we needed to tell our boss at work to replace us in June. It was the right thing to do. We needed to give them time to recruit doctors and get them credentialed at our hospital so that the current physicians would not be stretched thin covering our shifts. It was hard letting go of the only real job I have ever had.

There have been so many great memories at Baylor Garland (see pictures above and below) since I started there at 1pm on July 1, 2007. I grew up as an emergency physician and as a person there. My wife, children, and I will always be thankful for what the Baylor Garland Emergency Department has meant to us. God sets the lonely in families. (Psalm 68:6) He comes to us instead of leaving us as orphans. (John 14:18) Suddenly, we are now willing to do something we never dreamed we would be doing. We are committing to living in Africa. We are ready to move to Africa when school is over in May for our biological daughters. How long will we live there? We don't know, but likely until our son is allowed to leave with us, when we run out of money, or when God makes it clear to us. If God would like to change the minds of political leaders and suddenly start showing signs of allowing adopted children to come home, then we wouldn't have to move and give up the life that we have always experienced and expected. God's miracle of allowing Raymond to come to be with his family in Vickery in April 2014 released Amy and I from our commitment to being the legal guardians for his 4 children. Perhaps God will bring forth another miracle of ending the suspension of exit letters for adopted children. That would be 2 miracles in 2 years. I am praying daily for another miracle. I am ready for another miracle. We are doing all of this because we want to follow Jesus. He is all we want. He is all we need. It has been exactly 500 days since the exit letter suspension which has kept our son trapped in Africa. Please sign this petition (https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/end-drc-exit-letter-suspension-children-legally-adopted-american-families/GF9Qrb5L) for President Obama to contact President Kabila of the DRC to release the adopted children so that hundreds of American families can be united with their children. Thank you.

Family

Half a year has gone by since my last blog post. It takes my breath away to consider what has happened since then. God has shown His grace and love in one particular part of our lives. Our family had become committed to taking in four refugee children from Africa into our home indefinitely if their father was unable to join them in the United States before their mother, Bibiche, passed away from her metastatic cancer.

Bibiche's health went from good to bad several times throughout the spring months. Amy, Dave and Juleeta Harvey, Tricia Freshwater (an attorney working pro bono for this family), and several from Northwest Bible Church began doing everything possible to facilitate bringing the father, Raymond, to Dallas from Africa. This required help from legislators, embassies, and consulates because of Raymond's situation of being a refugee from the Democratic Republic of Congo trying to care for his family while they were relocated to Rwanda. Even though Bibiche and the four children arrived in Dallas in September of 2013, there seemed to be little hope of Raymond being allowed to leave Rwanda despite all of our efforts. Bibiche was admitted several times to the ICU but was able to be discharged home each time until April where she appeared she would never make it to her apartment again. Finally, after much prayer Raymond somehow was given clearance to leave Rwanda and landed at DFW Airport on April 6th at the last minute the day Bibiche became unstable in the ICU (http://youtu.be/Eejn79RYPN4?list=UUj5oRYnyHbG6I4_glFTBH-w)! He was finally able to be with his wife and children. Bibiche surprised us and improved to the point where she came off the ventilator and asked to go home. She arrived at her apartment on April 30th. She went to be with the Lord in the early morning of May 1st. We were sad, but it also allowed me to see God's plan. Bibiche's suffering from the pain, paralysis, infections, and other complications were over. God now gave us the opportunity to continue helping her children and her husband who had just come to our country. I never thought God would bless us with all of this and let us share this story with our entire church (http://youtu.be/FU3TAc964Qk?list=UUj5oRYnyHbG6I4_glFTBH-w). The challenges remained in how we could get this family (the Wafodis), now considered a part of our family, everything they needed to survive life in the USA, but God definitely provided. Raymond soon got his social security card, drivers license, and a job a few months later! Their English skills are improving each day. In addition to this adventure locally, the Kahn family also went around the world... literally.

We went to my brother's wedding in Thailand and met up with friends in Dubai. Unfortunately, we have not had much progress on our adoption process. As we continue to pray for our son to be allowed to come home, God has already added to our family with the Wafodis and know He has more planned for all of us!

Hot and Cold

I'm continuing my new habit of blogging once every 6 months... the last time I blogged was when it was freaking hot in Texas. This past week has been freezing cold. I feel my life and my faith can be hot and cold as well. Not long after the last entry, we had huge news regarding our adoption process. However in the last 6 months, we have had very little news to report, and I felt we had loss some of the enthusiasm we started with in early 2013. God has brought other blessings into our lives in the meantime. All three of our daughters were now going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the Autumn. Amy's parents moved to Dallas. My brother, Ben, got married thus I now have a sister-in-law! Our church small group continues to grow closer together and add new members. It's interesting how God weaves together the story of our lives. When we moved out of Vickery Meadows in 2011, I didn't understand why. I knew He would provide us with more chances to serve Him. A year later, we saw that He put orphan care on our hearts. In 2013, we met so many people who had adopted and/or fostered children as we were on our adoption journey. These connections brought us back into a daily relationship with a refugee family from Africa who were living in the same apartment complex in Vickery we had lived in to do missional living in 2011. We are now praying and working hard each day to get the dad's visa and immigration status approved so that he can join his wife and four children here in Dallas.

He cannot come to the USA if his wife dies before he arrives because of immigration laws relating to their refugee status. Amy has done a phenomenal job of organizing help from the church and other resources for this woman who has metastatic cancer. Their kids have stayed many nights at our home when the mom's illness leads her to being hospitalized. We have driven the kids to school and church. We have become closer to the Harveys and others who have joined with us to support this refugee family who had their lives shaken and split apart by war in their homeland. There were many days (especially the first few months) I had burning passion to radically change our lives to care for this family. I have also noticed that I have had days where I have been burned out and just want a little time alone with my wife and my kids. My prayer is that God gives me the desire and vision to see the long term goal so that I would follow Him forever. This knowledge will keep me from going cold. I don't want to be lukewarm either. I want to be on fire for God and stay that way through these next few months as we try to serve this African family and reunite them with their dad. Before I know it, it's going to be really hot again. The Texas summer is approaching...

We Have Come a Long Way Thus Far in 2013

To catch you up on the 6 months since my last blog post, I can say that our family has come a long way... literally and figuratively. I last did my blogging in Indianapolis during a trip with just me and Amy in February for adoption classes. The week afterwards, we returned to Dallas and were part of an amazing free garage sale where people donated numerous items to be given away to the residents and refugees of Vickery Meadows (http://youtu.be/tfNsx5fDNHM?a). It felt so special to be with people who we shared life with or went to church with who were willing to donate possessions and their time for our past neighbors in Vickery. Towards the end of March, Amy and I were excited to receive a letter stating we had progressed in our adoption journey (http://instagram.com/p/XTzgnTELpc/). April 2013 was our long awaited trip to Thailand (13 years since we had been there) as chronicled at http://youtu.be/YRTwq3a2nsQ?a. It was special to have my kids meet my relatives. I was reminded of my heritage and was reminded of how different my life would be had my parents not immigrated to the United States. After those long flights across the Pacific, our trip to Chicago to see Amy's cousin (Suzanne) was much shorter. It was great to be in another world class city (http://www.flickr.com/photos/andykahn/sets/72157633459168389/). Amy and Suzanne have been very close since they were little so it was nice to finally come visit someone who had been a big part of Amy's life as well as our daughters' lives. I'll always remember May 19, 2013. I stood in front of both services at my church and spoke of an addiction I had from adolescence to my adult years. (Audio can be heard at: http://www.northwestbible.org/media/messages/pride-sanctions-sexual-immorality/120/#first_sermon) I am in no way proud of my past. It continues to haunt me, and I fight temptations daily. However, God is bigger than our mistakes so I have hope that I can maintain success in my battle against this thorn in my side. In my 34 years of life, I never would have thought that I would have the guts to talk about this in front of hundreds of people, but I did it because I believe in Jesus, and I want others to use my story to help them in their journey with God. June 11, 2013 is an evening where we received a text from a friend stating that there was a random mention of a name we were considering for the child we were pursuing through adoption. Only time will tell if this correlates with a major event in our child's life. Much thanks to those who prayed for us that night, especially those I was working with in the ER. The end of June included our yearly trip to Lake Travis to join with the relatives on Amy's mom's side of the family. It was a wonderful week of fun and relaxation with people we see once a year. Around July 4th, my youngest brother (DJ) came into town and surprised Ben (my middle brother). It was great to be able to hang out with both of them. The last week of July was a fun week in Vancouver (http://flic.kr/s/aHsjGX1Pug). July and August were full of Tuesday evenings where I helped lead praise and worship for a summer VBS in Vickery (http://youtu.be/hdBCCI2BbaQ). There is nothing better than hearing a bunch of kids singing to God. This past week has been amazing. We went to party last Friday where various families in the Dallas area gathered to meet for the first time. Even though we didn't know each other, we all bonded and interacted quite well. The reason may be that we all had in common the fact we either had adopted or were in the process of adopting a child from the same country in Africa. This common denominator seems to create a mutual bond and to attract people with similar hearts. During this weekend, Amy and I were blessed with meeting and hosting the Lind family as they stayed with us during their time back in the U.S.A. after serving as missionaries in Africa. The Linds were driving around America (Texas was state number 33) raising awareness and support for their future missions. In summary, 2013 has been a year thus far influenced by travel but much of the movement has been in our hearts. Matthew 6:21 says that "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I have noticed that our family's heart has followed our treasure of adoption/future growth in our family. We watch YouTube videos of children being united with their new families now. We hang out with people who may be different from us in many ways, and we would have never met them had we not entered the adoption process. We desire to learn more about Africa and its people. I now memorize verses that did not mean as much to me before this year. We have come a long way in 2013. Let's see where this journey leads us next.

Blogging from Indianapolis about life leading up to our adoption process

It has been almost 2 years since I updated this blog. It is crazy seeing the last post which was when we moved out of our Lakewood home and into the apartment in Vickery to be apart of refugee ministry. Those 6 months of living in an apartment with less than half the square footage of our house were memorable and changed our lives forever. We made friends with people from Burma, Nepal, Bhutan, and Honduras. Being their neighbors helped us to chat late at night about soccer, provide a cooler with ice and milk when their electricity went out, and drive them to look for used cars and sign up for community college ESL classes. Living with people who had the challenges of being from other countries and making ends meet taught us to appreciate what we had and to love the community atmosphere of depending on one another. Fast forward to 2013. While Amy still works with her sewing ministry with the refugee women (https://www.facebook.com/VickeryThreads), we have been less involved since we moved out of Vickery. We almost took a job in Lubbock, Texas, to live close to my parents and Amy's parents in October 2011. In January 2012, we moved out of the small group we were in for 5 years at our church to start a new one with the Harveys. With these three difficult decisions, I questioned what God what planning to do with our family. I was sad to no longer be in Vickery, to pass on the Lubbock opportunity, and to move on from our wonderful small group we had grown with since 2007. I got over the sadness and began seeing how God was working in my life. Our new small group is growing together and loves the Lord. I have bonded more with my brothers because they both spent some time living with us in our new apartment this past year. This led to me and Amy getting to know Ben's girlfriend, Preaw. Now we have plane tickets for all of us (including Ruth, Lucy, and Betty) to go to Thailand in April to see our family and Preaw's family! Amy and I last went to Thailand in 2000. Thirteen years fly by once you go to med school, get married, complete residency, and have three daughters. The timing is perfect because of our other big news: we are in the process of adopting a child. Thank you for your prayers. Amy and I had our first trip out of state without kids since 2006. This trip to Indianapolis almost didn't happen because our flight was cancelled. We scrambled to get to the airport 30 minutes before the last plane was supposed to leave for Indy. I have never bought plane tickets that close to departure. Despite weather, a misspelling on our tickets, and the TSA, we made it to Indiana. It has been an awesome time here as a couple. God really blessed the time together and the people we met. We fly back home refreshed. My spirits are better now than in 2012 for I now I can see that the Lord, our God, has plans for us as stated in Jeremiah 29:11 "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I am excited about our future.