late entry for Sat, 4-4-09

Yesterday, we woke up and met the Benitez-Velez family at Sea World. Ruth and their twins enjoyed the sea animals and shows. It eventually got hot, and we called it a day by mid afternoon. We went back to the hotel. Ruth napped, Amy finished the May schedule, and I went to help Dave Spear with the ultrasound course. I talked to a guy from San Antonio and another from the Panhandle who was a little burned out since he owned a contract and had picked up a lot of shifts whenever the group was short. I was thankful that Amy and I had decided on a limited amount of shifts. After the ultrasound course, Amy and I met Nick Zenarosa in the hotel bar. Many other doctors from various places joined in for conversation. We all went to Iron Cactus on the riverwalk for dinner. I especially enjoyed chatting with Nick and Fernando on the walk back to the Crown Plaza. I have come to realize that some of the most important learning and networking come not from lectures or workshops, but from casual conversation and exchange of information outside the meeting itself. It has been interesting that although we live in DFW with Sam, Fern, Larissa, Nick, Fowler, and various other EPs, we have the most contact when we leave our home and meet in another city.
-
1 Corinthians 15:31 "I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-
I feel like I die every few months or so instead of Paul's daily pattern. The rollercoaster begins when I am rededicated and excited to be closer to Christ. Then the routine gets old, and I slip further and further from Him. The goal is to die to myself and reconnect more frequently. I have been doing this blog for that purpose. I still need to improve upon my Scripture reading. I would also like to be more consistent with prayer.

late entry for Fri, 4-3-09

We left the Patlovanys and got to the Crown Plaza for TCEP. It was great hearing about what is going on from the ACEP president. We ran into familiar faces from residency and past meetings. I felt I learned a good amount and hopefully it helps me in my daily practice. We had dinner with Sam, Ira, and Jeff at The County Line on the riverwalk. There were some great news and interesting stories.
-
1 Corinthians 14:10 "Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning. If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me. So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church."
-
I am not sure if this is what God is saying to me, but this passage reminds me of how much I want to learn and teach Spanish to Ruth. Many patients do not speak English, and I want to be able to communicate well without an interpreter. I have enjoyed speaking Thai to family and friends. Sign language has been useful for our family especially when Ruth was preverbal. I would hope that learning more languages would help in witnessing and connecting with others. It has been great learning and speaking to emergency physicians from across this great state. I have learned a lot. We speak the same language in our experiences in the ED no matter what city we live in. We have common battles with other departments and struggle with similar issues. We are trying to build up our specialty from the local to national level through polictics and advocacy. Hopefully, I can improve my Spanish so that I can use it to help build up the church.

late entry for Thurs, 4-2-09

I woke up early to play basketball. Afterwards, we headed to meet D.J. for lunch in Austin. Then we arrived in San Antonio to see the Patlovanys. Ruth and Nathan had fun playing. I keep seeing the need for kids to learn how to share since they usually get upset when they see someone else playing with their toys. Even Ruth was a little testy seeing Nathan play with his own toys that she wants to have. Still, our kids did great. We took them for a wagon ride around the neighborhood and had dinner at a place with a nice patio and playground. The night ended with Matt and I chatting about our ED practices. It was great to share our experiences and learn about what we were doing in our respective areas.
-
1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."
-
Watching Nathan and Ruth interact is fascinating. They are little kids. Sometimes I see faults in them that are still present in adults like me. I still have not put away my childish ways. I am selfish, jealous, and needy. I want to be totally dependent on God so that I do not care so much about the less important things.

Good ole Wednesday

I woke up and went to the gym for a work out and came home to a house full of Ruth's and Amy's friends from small group. It is nice for Ruth to learn how to share since she never has to do so currently without siblings. I went and played some b-ball at noon. After naps, we decided to take Ruth out for a treat. We got fries and shaved ice which was pretty good. We got to church early and played on the playground with Eliot and Millie. Small group was very good. We discussed some plans for the summer and had a great discussion of the second portion of Ephesians 5. I recall using one verse in Matt Taylor's rehearsal dinner when I was the best man. I didn't fully understand its meaning back then and tonight I got a better grasp after our discussion.
-
Ephesians 5:22-28 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
-
So I was referencing the first few lines jokingly when I stood up and told Elisha and the women in the room that night about the submitting to your husbands part, but now I better understand what Paul was saying. As Nick mentioned, the point is that as husbands, we sacrifice for our wives in our role as leaders. It is a great honor. I feel pressure to execute the responsibilities laid out before me and a Christian husband, but I know God will help me.
-
1 Corinthians 12:21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"
-
This is an interesting verse that speaks to how everyone in the church body plays a part in His kingdom. There are those that serve by being missionaries or working at the church. I many times feel less important to God's plan because I am not as involved as I would like to be. Perhaps in the future, the aforementioned roles may be something I am involved in. For now, I will do everything I can to serve Christ in the situations he places me in.

Final Father-Daughter Day?

Obviously Ruth and I will have other opportunities to hang out, but I think life changes after today. Amy is no longer on the work schedule after today. She may take a few of my extra shifts in April and she may do the same after the twins are born, but she will most likely be part time. Therefore, I no longer have these 9 days a month where Ruth and I have 10 or more hours together. I am a little sentimental about it. Looking back, there were some tough times early on when she didn't like to take a bottle, but I felt so pressured to make sure she took all 4oz because I had this fear she would be a failure to thrive overnight and Amy would make me work all 18 shifts because of my iniquity. There would be those times we went to visit Amy in the middle of a shift and then Ruth was inconsolable because she saw her mommy and wanted to be with her. The good times however outnumber the bad. We had wonderful days and nights together including going to a Rangers baseball game, hanging out with Will and Nick, and walks around West Village. I'm going to miss it.

So my shift ended with two critical patients and an unfortunate incident with a consultant. I drove from the ED directly to Ben's to take him to Love Field for his flight. I came home and slept while Ruth and Amy went to make up the missed oral glucose tolerance test. Ruth did not go to swim lessons due to a fever. I did some laundry after Amy went to work. Once Ruth was up from her nap, we went to Target to get an iron, ironing board, Motrin, step stool, and a kitchen trash can. Amy had given her some Motrin before naps so I went ahead and gave some Tylenol for fever prophylaxis. We stopped across the street at Home Depot for another outdoor lightswitch timer. Then we drove through the barrio towards Northpark Mall. It was a good reminder of life to drive through different neighborhoods. Ruth loves the mall. She recognized the benches and escalators and ran ahead without me. At the food court, I asked her if she wanted eggs. She said, "No." I asked if she wanted chicken. She replied the same. I asked if she wanted fries. She then had a huge smile and said, "Yea!" Why not? It was our last official Daddy-Ruthie day. We got some chicken strips, fries, and Sprite at Chick-Fil-A and she handed them the credit card as usual. She began with fries but when I asked her to eat some chicken, she did so and ate a good amount so I was proud of her. I let her have plenty of Sprite because I wanted her to stay hydrated and happy. We walked around the kid clothing and toy stores. She was social to everyone and ran all over the mall. At Build-A-Bear, she found a stroller with a bear and drove it around. After awhile, I told her it was time to go. She was recalcitrant and began to scream in defiance. I gave her a warning in a stern voice, and she complied. I was proud of her for giving up the stroller which she loves to play with, and we moved on. I wanted to find her some business dress for TCEP but apparently there are not a lot of 2 year old female CEOs out there so I didn't find close that matched that description. She ran around the big mall intersection up the ramp and down the stairs over and over. This worked well for my plan to get her worn out by bedtime. When we drove away from the mall, Amy called and said she was headed for the snack machine for donuts. Since she is carrying two of my babies currently, I figured I should get her something healthier. We got some chicken strips from Sonic and drove up to the ED. We had a tech come get the food since I have learned from past experience that Ruthie can be upset for the remainder of the day after she Amy and remembers that she misses her. Another tech came out and wanted to clarify that he wasn't being sarcastic earlier this morning at work when he told me I was a calming presence when the patient went apneic. I didn't think I did much, but I appreciated the compliment. I will remember that.

I drove to Tom Browning's house to chat a little bit since his daughters were in bed and his wife was on call. Ruth played with the toys in the house while we talked about various topics from health care to church small group. I love his honesty and commitment to the Lord. He mentioned a few things that opened my eyes and made me a little embarrassed of things that I need to improve on. We will definitely have to get together more often. At home, I ironed clothes for me and Amy so that we could look somewhat professional at TCEP. Ruth fell asleep watching me iron clothes. I called Matt Patlovany to chat with him while ironing. He told me how his ED experiences were like in San Antonio. We are looking forward to seeing them in a few days. I decided to move Ruth to the middle of the bed so that she wouldn't fall off and noticed she was burning up. She had a temp so I gave her some Motrin. She hasn't been coughing or having a runny nose so I'm not sure what her source is. I watched her sleep peacefully and thanked God for her. It has been a wonderful day.

-

1 Corinthians 11:18-19 "In the first place, I hear that when you come together as a church, there are divisions among you, and to some extent I believe it. No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval."
-

This touches on some of the disagreements Tom and I may have. I will pray hard to see what Jesus wants so that I can desire the same thing. This is going to be difficult.

Doctor Visits

Amy had set Ruth a pediatrician's appointment this morning since she was running a fever and saying that her right side was hurting. She looked pretty good, but we didn't want to have her get worse before all the events of this week. I went to the gym for my personal training session and then met them at the pediatrician's office. Her urine and strep screen were negative so it was probably something viral. We then went for Amy's sono and ob appointment. I spoke to Clark on the way home. I got a short nap in once we came home. We had dinner at home before my overnight shift started.
-
1 Corinthians 10:12-13 "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
-
This is a good reminder that while things may be running smoothly, things can fall apart in a hurry. Temptations are all around, and we need God to help us identify and avoid falling for them.
-
My prayer today is that Ruth doesn't get sick, Amy and the twins continue to do well, and that my shift goes well tonight.

late entry for Sun, 2-29-09

Yesterday, I helped in Ruth's nursery room so I got to see her and the other kids play during the second service. Amy helped in the nursery during the third service so I went to small group prayer requests and ate lunch with them. Ruth fell asleep on the way home. Amy and I solidified travel plans for TCEP this next weekend as well as Nebraska in the fall. We watched MSU beat Louisville, and then Suzanne and Aunt Janie came over. We all headed to Elizabeth's birthday party at the Dahlmans. Ruth did great in the bounce house. At home, we just had some family time, ate dinner, and watched Curious George before heading to bed.
-
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
-
This was a great set of verses speaking of competition and the one that really matters. I do feel like I am running aimlessly at times, but everything comes into focus when I put Christ first. I am thankful to be qualified for the eternal prize.